Saturday, 15 November 2014

A journey of motherhood through photographs

I am far from the worlds greatest photographer, I'm not even sure you could call me a 'good' photographer, but I can say that in photography I have found a sort of solace. That is probably not the right word when I think about it, but may be it is. May be acceptance would be a better word. Acceptance of where I am, acceptance of motherhood, acceptance of the fact that I don't have to get it all perfect. 

Some how, when you cut out all the details and focus on homemade cookies, you remember that she talked about cookies for the next week non-stop. She played 'making cookies', she feed me fake cookies, she squealed when cookies came on the TV. It's not that I want to create these perfect memories and forget that actually making these cookies with a 2 year old was a messy and frustrating experience, no, not at all. She has far too many emotions and far too little patience for that to be an overly joyful experience. No. But you do remember that you made an effort to invest into her childhood, to make it something special, something that can stimulate her, grow her (grow us both) and you invested in that bond between mother and child. 

It has also kept me accountable. 

If I haven't taken photos for a while, it means there was nothing worth photographing. It reminds me to get her outside, to take her to new places and do knew things and it probably means she has been watching too much TV again. 

It reminds me to say, 'yes' to meeting a friend at the beach, even though it would be easier to say 'no'. It reminds me that most of the time, those magical moments don't just happen, you have be intentional about them, that you can't just sit around and wait, you have to choose to invest. 

I can say that being creative, taking photos, no matter how bad the photograph is, if I look back on them and feel joy, it makes it easier to learn how to love the journey. 

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