Thursday, 12 December 2013


Almost here!
I get very excited about wrapping presents. 
Almost more excited about the wrapping than whats inside. I just find that something simple, wrapped beautifully- sings so much more to me than something extravagant wrapped in supermarket paper.......
I guess that is just the odd way I can be sometimes.
I like the simple pleasures.

Wednesday, 11 December 2013

Organized chaos may be, but still chaos.

I am starring keenly at my diary this week. I need to be far more organized than I know how to be. Let me give you a quick run down....

Today is the 12th. That is 13 days till Christmas.
In that time I need to finish packing up the house, do all my Christmas shopping, plan a Christmas celebration banquet for over 160 people, move house and clean this rental property up for the final inspection, oversee and pull off that banquet and- all this on top of my everyday life that is actually fairly full already. Did I mention we are down to one car?! Help!

Somewhere in there I need to follow up on a specialist appointment for Princess Squirmy, re-enroll her in swimming class, attend 2 Christmas events (separate from the banquet) and figure out the bus timetables so that I can do all of the above.


A peace that transcends all understanding

Yet- this is where I stand. In that peace. I know if I can just keep my focus and not loose my head, everything will work out. At this point I am eager to just get settled into the new place. I'm going to buy myself a beautiful bunch of flowers, put them in a vase and place them in the middle of the dining room table. Then I am going to turn on the oven and bake myself something that makes the whole place smell like home. 

Till then......I'll try to enjoy the chaos.

Thursday, 5 December 2013

Loosing is Winning

Luke 17:33, "If you cling to life, you will loose it, and if you let your life go, you will save it."

I have eased into motherhood like a woman getting into a cold swimming pool. With all the grace of that grimacing squealing beauty dipping her toe in and removing it several times before convincing herself if she can just get her toe used to the water then may be she can start on the foot. 

Actually at this point I feel like I'm in the deep end and I don't know how to swim. Instead of swimming around and having fun, I'm clinging to the side looking longingly at the sun bathers on their towels laughing and sipping cocktails.

All of them.

Okay okay, that's not exactly the whole picture either, and I don't think anyone is a least not because they don't have kids.
But there are certainly days when my feelings lean that direction. And that's when my thoughts wander back to Luke 12. 
On the days when I feel like I am loosing at everything. I've not answered messages, phone calls or emails. On the days when people are ringing me regarding those messages, calls and emails because now I am hold them up. On the days when the washing is beyond piling up and I realize that my husband has been wearing the same work clothes for far to many days. (poo-ey!!) On the days when I only eat one meal......dinner......AND only at 9pm. On the days where I mixed up my dates and times and left someone important sitting in a cafe for an hour and a half before leaving (late) for their next appointment. On the days when you are so tired English thinks second speak the window somewhere out...........

On the days when I look around, throw my hands up and say, 'today I lost'. I lost the war on being a good friend, worker, wife, daughter, but the days I chose to loose at all these things, are the days I win at being a mum.  
Of course there are days where I have had to choose to loose the mum battle and win a different battle, but mostly its the first one :)

I am learning that to win in one area is just to loose in another area and that every minute I need to look at all my battles and decide which one I am going to win in that moment. 

So I stand here reminding myself not look backwards longingly, but to walk forward, enjoy the swim and remember that to while winning is actually loosing, loosing is always winning too.

I'm going to go now and discover what I lost while I was writing this blog ...... I think whatever it was just went down the toilet bowl......Oh Help!!

Bye for now!